iPhone

Apple’s controls live in Screen Time, and work best when the child is in your Family Sharing group.

Menu names shift between software versions and between phone makers. If a name here does not match what you see, look for something close by rather than assuming the setting is gone.

1. 1

   Add them to Family Sharing

   It lets you manage their phone from yours, and it’s what makes Ask to Buy possible.

   Settings → [your name] → Family Sharing

   1. On your iPhone, open Settings and tap your name.
   2. Tap Family Sharing and add your child.
   3. If they’re under 13, create a child Apple Account for them here.

   Who holds this: You set this from your own account, and your child cannot change it back.

   Already done this?

   If you already gave them an adult Apple Account, you probably do not need a new one. The old advice that an adult Apple ID can never be converted is out of date. Edit the birth date at Settings, your name, Personal Information, or at account.apple.com. Apple's rule: to change a birthday to any age below 13, the account must be a member of a Family Sharing group, and the Family Sharing organizer must approve the change. It is the same account throughout, so purchases, photos and Messages all survive.

2. 2

   Set a Screen Time passcode

   Without a separate passcode, your child can turn all of this off in about fifteen seconds.

   Settings → Screen Time → [your child] → Change Screen Time Passcode

   1. Open Settings, then Screen Time, then choose your child under Family.
   2. Set a Screen Time passcode.
   3. Use a different code from the phone unlock, and don’t use a birthday.

   Who holds this: You set this from your own account, and your child cannot change it back.

   Already done this?

   If your child already knows the passcode, or you never set one, you can reset it without losing your settings. Do it from your device, not theirs: Settings, Screen Time, your child's name, Manage Screen Time, Change Screen Time Passcode. When this fails it is almost always because you are signed in to the wrong Apple Account. Apple's article covers iPhone and iPad only, so we cannot confirm the steps on a Mac.

3. 3

   Turn on Content & Privacy Restrictions

   This is the master switch that unlocks everything else.

   Settings → Screen Time → [your child] → Content & Privacy Restrictions

   1. Open Content & Privacy Restrictions.
   2. Enter your Screen Time passcode.
   3. Toggle Content & Privacy Restrictions on.

   Who holds this: You set this from your own account, and your child cannot change it back.

4. 4

   Require approval for downloads and purchases

   Otherwise every setting you choose is one free app download away from irrelevant. Ask to Buy does mean a notification every time they want anything, free apps included, and that wears thin quickly. It is still worth it for the first few months, and you can loosen it once you can see what they actually ask for.

   Content & Privacy Restrictions → iTunes & App Store Purchases

   1. Set iTunes & App Store Purchases according to the ages below. This is the one that also covers redownloads.
   2. Set In-app Purchases to Don't Allow.
   3. Then turn on Ask to Buy in Family Sharing, so new downloads come to your phone as a request.

   Recommended by age

   Under 7	Installing apps: Don’t Allow. In-app purchases: Don’t Allow.
   7–11	Installing apps: Don’t Allow. In-app purchases: Don’t Allow.
   11–12	Installing apps: Ask to Buy. In-app purchases: Don’t Allow.
   13–15	Installing apps: Ask to Buy. In-app purchases: Don’t Allow.
   16–17	Installing apps: Allow. In-app purchases: Ask to Buy.

   The hole worth knowing about, in Apple's own words: if a child redownloads their own purchase, installs an update, or uses a redemption code, you will not get a request. So an app approved once, or installed before you turned Ask to Buy on, can be deleted and pulled back from their purchase history any time, silently. The setting that closes it is this one, iTunes & App Store Purchases, which Apple describes as covering purchases and redownloads. Ask to Buy alone does not.

   Who holds this: You set this from your own account, and your child cannot change it back.

5. 5

   Set content ratings and web filtering

   The browser is the widest open door on the phone, and web content filtering closes most of it. The cost is that automatic filtering also blocks school and research pages that look wrong to it, so expect to add a few addresses by hand rather than assuming the filter has broken.

   Content & Privacy Restrictions → App Store, Media, Web & Games

   1. Set age ratings for apps, films, TV and music.
   2. Open Web Content and choose the level below.
   3. For younger children, Only Approved Websites lets you list the only sites that work.

   Recommended by age

   Under 7	Only Approved Websites, apps rated 9+
   7–11	Only Approved Websites, apps rated 9+
   11–12	Limit Adult Websites, apps rated 12+
   13–15	Limit Adult Websites, apps rated 12+
   16–17	Limit Adult Websites

   Apple renamed this one. If you are following older guidance that says Allowed Websites Only, Only Approved Websites is the same setting.

   Who holds this: You set this from your own account, and your child cannot change it back.

6. 6

   Set Downtime and App Limits

   Downtime is the one that protects sleep, which is the change most families actually feel. It does not cut them off: Apple's own wording is that during downtime only phone calls and the apps you allow are available. Build the Always Allowed list before you switch it on, so the first night is not an argument about Messages.

   Settings → Screen Time → [your child] → Downtime / App Limits

   1. Set Downtime to cover overnight. School nights first, if you want an easier start.
   2. Add App Limits for the categories that run away with time, usually Social and Games.
   3. Choose which apps stay available during Downtime under Always Allowed (phone and messages to you, at minimum).

   Recommended by age

   Under 7	Downtime from 7pm, Social and Games limited to 45 min
   7–11	Downtime from 7pm, Social and Games limited to 45 min
   11–12	Downtime from 8:30pm
   13–15	Downtime from 9:30pm on school nights
   16–17	Agree a Downtime window together

   Who holds this: You set this from your own account, and your child cannot change it back.

7. 7

   Lock down privacy and location changes

   Stops apps quietly gaining location or contacts access later.

   Content & Privacy Restrictions → Privacy

   1. Open Location Services and set it to Don’t Allow Changes after you’ve set it how you want.
   2. Do the same for Contacts and Photos.
   3. Turn on Communication Limits so contact during Downtime is restricted to known contacts.

   Who holds this: You set this from your own account, and your child cannot change it back.

Menus move. If something on screen does not match these steps, check the official link above.